New favorite song

One more thing...a girl sang this song at Tiana's funeral and I wanted to share it....I love it :)

Weekend full of emotions

Well this Thanksgiving weekend was full of emotions.  Tiana’s viewing was Wednesday night, her funeral Friday and then her celebration/memorial was Saturday at Tinora Junior High.  The funeral service was beautiful.  I thought the Pastor did an amazing job, it was a beautiful service.  Saturday was just as amazing.  I sat back in listened to all the people share stories of Tiana and it brought tears to my eyes.  There were soooooo many people who have been touched by this little girl in one way or another (me included).  Some people would get up and say that they personally didn’t know her, but they heard stories about her and they have been touched by her in that way.  She will forever live on through all of us. 

As I said in an earlier blog that Tiana’s wish for her 12^th birthday was to receive toys or gift cards to buy toys for the children on the oncology floor during Christmas.  Well her wish will continue.  Every year Christmas for Kids kicks off on November 1^st and every year on November 5^th  (her birthday) will be Tiana’s wish and everything that day will be donated to children in hospitals across Northwest Ohio.  Her wish lives on J

Also, today at church we had our Pastor announce our pregnancy to the congregation.  As I expected our very welcoming and loving congregation had many kind words to say to us.  When Rylee passed away many of them were there for us during that difficult time and I know they will be there for us throughout this pregnancy. 

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. 

Today I am thankful that I am pregnant (18 weeks tomorrow J)

Checkup

Yesterday we had a checkup at the regular OB in Defiance.  We went to the room and I laid down for them to listen to the heartbeat on the doppler.  Well….they could not find the heartbeat FOREVER…ok it may have been 2 minutes, but if felt like 20.  They kept pushing on my belly and moving the doppler, still nothing.  All I could do was pray.  One of the nurses said we get a couple of beats and then it flips so that relieved some stress, but I still wanted to hear that little heart.  They finally got it and the heartbeat was 146.  Thank you Jesus!!  After that was done the nurse looked at me and said she needed to take my blood pressure…HA yeah right.  We both laughed and she gave me some time to relax and came back it to check my blood pressure.  Everything was fine and we will go back to Toledo December 8^th to get an ultrasound done and if the little one is cooperative we will find out if it is a boy or girl :)

Happy Thanksgiving

Yesterday morning a 12 year old girl, named Tiana entered the gates of Heaven.   For those of you who do not know Tiana she the most amazing little girl I have ever met.  We first met almost 2 years ago.  Eric was one of her 4^th grade teachers.  During her 4^th grade year there were days where she wasn’t able to attend school.  So the school set up Skype in which Tiana could listen to the lessons from home.  Eric would then go to her house after school to help her keep up with the school work.  I remember the first night Eric came home and told me how amazing her and her family were.   He then came home one night and said that they wanted me to come over for dinner so we could meet.  Well during this time I was pregnant with Rylee and I would catch every cold out there.  Therefore, I could not go over for awhile, but the day that I met Tiana was the day she changed my life forever. 

Eric and I stared going over her house for dinner and to play for numerous hours on the WII.  She was diagnosed with cancer when she was 9.  During my time with her and the visits we made to see her in Toledo Children’s hospital I never once heard her complain.  She has taught me so much in just the little time of knowing her.  The other thing that I loved about Tiana was her unselfishness.  Her past birthday instead of presents she asked for gift cards and toys so she could give the children that were in the hospital on Christmas toys.  AMAZING.  Another thing people may not know is that Eric and I decided we wanted Rylee’s middle name to be Paige after our amazing, inspiring, compassionate, loving, and caring, Tiana Paige.  I am forever thankful for getting the opportunity to have met Tiana and her family.  She is my little HERO.  I know she will be the best babysitter for Rylee up there.  Thank you Tiana for sharing your time with me and inspiring so many people. 

Last year at Tiana's Birthday Party

This pregnancy

It took us a long time to tell people we were pregnant this time around.  We had some scares early during this pregnancy.  I had bleeding at 6 weeks for a couple of days and then again at 8 weeks.  So we were very hesitant to tell people we were pregnant, but when you start to show at 8 weeks and are only going to get bigger you just can't help it.  You don't know how many people that have came up to me and asked if I was pregnant.  First, you do not ask a woman if they are pregnant unless you are 100% sure lol.  This time around I will see a regular OB in Defiance and also a maternal fetal medicine (MFM) doctor in Toledo.  As I said before I had some bleeding at 6 weeks.  The doctor scheduled an ultrasound to check on the baby and just to reassure us, and we did get to see our little peanut and hear the heartbeat for the first time...the best sound in the world.

This is the baby at 7 weeks.

We went to the MFM doctor in Toledo when I was 13 weeks pregnant.  We have met this doctor before.  See when Rylee had passed we decided to not get an autopsy done on her since there was an umbilical cord accident.  So 2 months after Rylee we went to the MFM doctor to get the results back from the placenta (they sent that off to get checked).  They found blood clots on the placenta so I had to get test for blood clotting disorders and then they tested Eric and I for any genetic disorders.  We went back a couple weeks later and found out that all the test came back normal.  It was a good sign, but at that time we both wanted to find a reason for why this happened.

Anyways back to the doctor appointment at 13 weeks.  This office is very busy and usually never on time.  Our appoinment was at 12:30 and we did not go back until 1:20.  We were then sitting in the room and a lady came in and asked if I was ready for my ultrasound.  WHAT?!?  We had no clue we were getting one.  So we went back and explained she would be doing the 1st trimester screening and checking the heart, kidneys, cord, etc.  Well she then looked at us and told us the baby was measuring 10 days bigger than where I am suppose to be, which meant no 1st trimester screening (which screens for Downs, Spina Bifida, etc.)  They baby was very active during the entire ultrasound.  She finished and said she would be back after she wrote up her report.  She came back 20 minutes later and said she talked to the doctor and everything looked good and he said we were free to go.  WHAT?!? we aren't going to see the doctor...is this good news or bad news?  We took it as good news because he said everything looked good and there was nothing of concern.  Before we left she asked me to lay down again to see if she could get a good picture for us.  Well the baby wanted nothing to do with getting it's picture taken.  Our little baby would not roll over to get a shot of it's face.  She tried and tried to get the baby to roll over, but she had no success it just kept moving up and down so here is a picture of the baby's..........BACK at 13 weeks :)

Today I am thankful for being pregant.

My Blog

Well here goes nothing.  I am starting this blog as my journey through pregnancy after a stillbirth.  Go back to August 2009 and that is when I married my college sweetheart.  Three months after we were married we found out we were expecting our first child :)  I had the perfect pregnancy until 38 weeks.  We went in for our 38 week checkup and the doctor told us the worst thing a soon to be parent would want to hear..."I'm sorry your baby does not have a heartbeat."  This is by far the most  devastating thing that I have ever went through.  I was induced just 5 hours later and then 7 hours after I was induced Rylee Paige was delivered.  She was the cutest baby girl I have ever seen with a head full of hair.  She had passed away due to torrsion of the umbilical cord.